Few things ruin our lives quite like resentments – they are corrosive to our soul and lead to bitterness, addictions, and suffering. Someone wise once said, “holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other dies,” This phrase expresses a truth that is deeply embedded in the Jewish religion: resentments are toxic. The Jewish tradition suggests that forgiveness is essential to our own happiness and spiritual growth. That is why, as we prepare for Yom Kippur we are told to apologize to and beg forgiveness from those we have wronged and to forgive those who have wronged us. Often, when someone tells me about a hurt or a resentment they can’t let go, I ask them what it does for them; what do they get out of holding on to their resentment? Often, they don’t know. But they continue to carry the hurt with them. Few people have more reason to hang on to resentment than Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery and ruined his life. Now, years later, he has attained the zenith of political power in Egypt and his brothers come to him begging for food. Joseph looks in every way like an Egyptian. His brothers do not know who he is. Joseph could take vengeance and punish them for their past wrongs to him and they would never know. But he takes a different path. He chooses to forgive them and when he does he breaks down, as we read, “His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace.” (Genesis 45:2) His decision to forgive is an emotional catharsis that purges him of his pain. Then he reveals himself, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” (Genesis 45:3) Finally, he shows he truly holds no resentment, “Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.” (Genesis 45:5) In our tradition Joseph is called Yosef ha Tzadik, Joseph the righteous. Perhaps this is because he shows us how to let go of our pain by forgiving those who have wronged us. Resentment twists the soul, forgiveness frees it. Let us follow Joseph’s example and practice the power of forgiveness.
Vayigash, Genesis 44:18-47:27, Parshat Ha Shavua for Shabbat, Saturday, December 11, 2021
December 10, 2021 by Dean Kertesz • Drashot
Few things ruin our lives quite like resentments – they are corrosive to our soul and lead to bitterness, addictions, and suffering. Someone wise once said, “holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other dies,” This phrase expresses a truth that is deeply embedded in the Jewish religion: resentments are toxic. The Jewish tradition suggests that forgiveness is essential to our own happiness and spiritual growth. That is why, as we prepare for Yom Kippur we are told to apologize to and beg forgiveness from those we have wronged and to forgive those who have wronged us. Often, when someone tells me about a hurt or a resentment they can’t let go, I ask them what it does for them; what do they get out of holding on to their resentment? Often, they don’t know. But they continue to carry the hurt with them. Few people have more reason to hang on to resentment than Joseph. His brothers sold him into slavery and ruined his life. Now, years later, he has attained the zenith of political power in Egypt and his brothers come to him begging for food. Joseph looks in every way like an Egyptian. His brothers do not know who he is. Joseph could take vengeance and punish them for their past wrongs to him and they would never know. But he takes a different path. He chooses to forgive them and when he does he breaks down, as we read, “His sobs were so loud that the Egyptians could hear, and so the news reached Pharaoh’s palace.” (Genesis 45:2) His decision to forgive is an emotional catharsis that purges him of his pain. Then he reveals himself, “I am Joseph. Is my father still well?” (Genesis 45:3) Finally, he shows he truly holds no resentment, “Now, do not be distressed or reproach yourselves because you sold me hither; it was to save life that God sent me ahead of you.” (Genesis 45:5) In our tradition Joseph is called Yosef ha Tzadik, Joseph the righteous. Perhaps this is because he shows us how to let go of our pain by forgiving those who have wronged us. Resentment twists the soul, forgiveness frees it. Let us follow Joseph’s example and practice the power of forgiveness.
~Rabbi Dean Kertesz